Review: How to Win Friends and Influence People

Name: How to Win Friends and Influence People Author: Dale Carnegie Misc: 304 pages, Rs 125 Genre: Self-improvement My rating: 5 /5 Highlights: The ENTIRE book!!

For a book that I consider holy, ardently swear by, and have gifted to more than 20 people to-date, and suggested to almost every other person I’ve met, and for an author I consider my idol, and remember, every time his principles have impacted my day-to-day life this review comes very late. My apologies to the spirit of the book and Dale Carnegie.

If you feel, that the above lines are an exaggeration, I can bet you one thing – Read this book, and try and follow, if not fully, atleast, a part of what he suggests, and see the results for yourselves. Then you will know that this book has not sold more than 20 million copies in 90 years, and continues to be one of the all-time favorite self-improvement books, for nothing.

Ok! Enough of rhetoric. Let me tell you something about the essence of the book…

The thing that makes Dale Carnegie and this book so different from most other books of the same genre is his style of explaining concepts. Dale does not preach at lengths, or speak in vague terms. Rather, he just explains his point briefly, and then gives a slew of real life examples, to endorse his technique. And these examples are related to different people – ranging from the common man on the street to the Who’s who of all time, which depicts that the simple principles of influencing people is the same for everyone. And for all these people, the result is the same – they tend to profoundly impact the people around them when they implement these principles in their life.

The following, are the salient principles as mentioned by Dale Carnegie, in this book:

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
   

Six ways to make people like you

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.
   

Win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.
    

Be a Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Take my word. Read this book once. And try and follow it. You will thank me for this!

To read more on Dale Carnegie, visit: www.dalecarnegie.com