Ramblings about a long hiatus...

We get into habits. Some stick for a lifetime. Some wear out. New ones take their place. Habit is second nature, they say. tch tch... habits are what make up the nature! the incessant ones, the not-so-regular ones, the once-in-a-blue-moon ones... all of them.

I started blogging over two years back, as an extension to my 'habit' to talk a lot, have opinions about almost everything, and let people know about them. Yes, I also hoped, it would help refine my writing skills which I needed for things more than just voicing opinions in a nice way for people to read! :-)

And I would regularly blog - obsessive compulsive blogger - some one once made fun of me during those initial days! It was fun, and yes, although not obsessive, it became a nice habit that I loved - a 'hobby' like it is called.

Somewhere about a year back, things changed. I got way too involved in work at office. And then some other things. And beyond that, some other things. I got out of this enjoyable 'habit' of mine. And to what extent! It was never that, in this one year since the last time I posted on my blog, I did not find the time to post, nor was there a dearth of topics to share about. In fact, I went on two international tours in these 12 months, watched a lot of movies, and had a number of unique experiences - basically a LOTTT of things to write about!

But I simply had gotten out the habit! Old habits die hard. Maybe this wasn't old enough. Laziness is the prime culprit, of course, no fooling myself on that. But a lethargic inertia had grown slowly. And the older it became, the stronger it became. And for one year, this part of the cyber-space remained untouched.

What made me get back onto it, this fine day? Well! Some time with just myself - no work, no friends, no distractions - and more so, an hour, for which I had to wait for my good friend to finish her day at the office, so we could talk about her latest adventures in life! :-)

I read somewhere - not sure where - that it is better to be hated, than loved for something, some times... Coz some one's hatred gives us an amazing energy to overcome it; an energy stronger than the one that propels us to gain more love and affection than that already exists.

Mine definitely wasn't a case of hatred! :-D It was the right combination of being left alone, having to wait for someone, having no other "work" to do, and for once, slightly under-control laziness! And if I can believe for myself that inertia once overcome, can resume the motion more easily, then I can hope to be bloggin a little more often hence!

Thanks Koosu, for that additional one hour of urgent work that you came up with. And twink, for those Karachi bakery biscuits, which are waiting for me and Koo! :-)

What is your relationship status?

Single / Committed / Married??

Ok… half of you, who have read the title, and the first line, will have already made the connection! And the rest of you will relate to it, when I tell this word: Orkut

Rings the bell?? That question in the profile description on the most popular socializing website around?

Started a few years back as a small online community for the youth to socialize, by a genius from Stanford, it has today become a HUUUUGE rage all around the world, inspiring a plethora of other such communities in the web world, and hogging enormous amount of bandwidth – enough for almost all corporate companies to be forced into banning it at office before long… including mine:-( (those who are still lucky – enjoy!! You too would join us soon!)

And among the several things it has revolutionized, is the paradigm shift it has brought into common parlance. From adding new meanings to ordinary words in normal English, to adding new words to our slang lexicon, to being a part of a person’s identity, and changing the way they keep in touch with people... life's changed so much, since Orkut. Among the new concepts it has enlightened the hither-to ignorant common man, is a person’s relationship status.

One of the fields that get displayed with a person’s profile summary, along with, his/her profile photo, name, age and place, it has gained so much prominence, that it has become an integral part of the picture, a person draws, about another, at the sight of the latter’s profile summary.

A “Single” status – especially if you are a cute guy / girl, and have spiced up your profile – would possibly invite lot of scraps, from ‘interested’ people, who want to make ‘friends’ with you. No offense meant… although this is one of the prime purposes of such an online community, the observation made, is in the perspective of the person’s relationship status. If you are “committed”, statistically, the chances that people would be interested in making ‘friends’ with you, and add entries in your scrap book, of the likes of ‘Your profile looks nice. Can we be friends’, is definitely less.

While the “married” status is normally the poorer and insipid cousin of the first two, the response that evokes curiosity, and raises eyebrows, probably to the greatest extent, is – ‘No answer’. Apart from those young, fresh, or unaware users, who just don’t know what it means, any other user, leaving that question unanswered, would most probably belong to the category – single and mingling :-) – someone who is going around with a person, but isn’t sure of the relationship, or doesn’t want others to be conspicuous about it – yet, cannot “bear the guilt” of claiming to be ‘single’. In other words, it is the silent way of saying – I am not available.

Open marriage, and open relationship – are status messages, which are very rarely used genuinely, alteast in the sub-continent. A person seeing this on your profile, most likely, will probably think you made a mistake, or will know, from the rest of your profile, that you are either acting too smart or funny. The bottom line is that – it is almost always ignored.

Amazed by the degree to which, this question forms a part of an Orkut-user’s cognizance, I decided to put my theory to test, by changing my own status from single, to other different options. These are the conclusions I have drawn from my experiment.

• Changing from Single, to ‘No answer’ mostly, only raises eyebrows. As if to reflect the person’s preference about answering the question, scraps, probing about it, are minimal and normally only from the most active (read jobless) orkut-user-close-acquaintances of the person.
• Changing from Single to Committed (or vice versa) normally sees a huge influx of scraps – manifesting either as curious and congratulatory messages like “Wow!” “Congrats!!” “When? Who?”, or sincere condolences like “Oh… what happened” “Sorry for ya mate!” “Cheer up” – based on which way you change your status.
• People who want to avoid all this attention, showered by the above two cases, normally prefer to not try to be too honest to their own conscience, and show up as Single. So, if some one isn’t too nice to your overtures of ‘friendship’, despite being ‘Single’, this might well be the reason!
• Changing from any status to “married” is just another event, if it is the truth. Since, normally there will be a lot of hullabaloo regarding your wedding, especially in terms of the increased traffic of good wishes (and condolence :-)) scraps, the people who ask you “Oh! Wow! When?” or something similar, are usually far acquaintances of yours, whom you either forgot to invite for your wedding, or knew you once upon a time as a hi-bye friend.

So next time you look at some person’s relationship status, you’ll definitely know to take it with a pinch of salt. For all you know, it could be as much, or even more deceptive than the rest of his profile.

PS:By the way. I am ‘married’ :-) and really lucky, that my parents belong to the not-so-web-savvy generation. They definitely would not take my answer(s) to this question too lightly!! :-)

Closing statement:

Due condolences to Mr. Adnan Patrawala, one of the unfortunate preys to the ugly side of this extremely cogent online community. Please make sure, that your personal security will be your prime concern while using them. Be responsible, stay safe.

A hiatus...

Its been more than a month now... since I have taken a break from active blogging. My last significant piece of literary work on my blog was the short story on Global Warming, 90° N 0° W I had written for my company e magazine. And although it recieved really rave reviews from my readers, I have been struggling to get back my momentum on writing something similar - the same momentum that had helpled me slog 15 hours in 3 straight days to get that story complete in the nick of time, before the magazine went through for the month.

I do have good reasons to cite for this break... Initially, I'd been busy preparing for and taking my GMAT, which although went well, was a disappointment for me, coz i was not able to score as well had expected to. The weekend after that, I was busy with a Volleyball inter-corporate touranment, in which me made it to the semifinals in our first outing since i've joined Honeywell two years back. The weekend after that, i'd been to my native, after two months. The weekend after that, was my TOEFL exam - for which i barely prepared, and which rubbed more salt into my wounds of a not-so-good GMAT performance - I screwed up the speaking section in it (Speaking!! That too ME!!! Of all sections?? This, for a person who's the youngest trainer in the history of his company!! What an anticlimax!!). I still await the results of that test.

In between, and after these major events, i've been busy with a fresh influx of work at office - trying to make up for the short days i'd worked while busy with my exams, while remaining afloat in the deluge of new work! Add to it - release of the the much-awaited last book in the Harry Potter series - Harry Potter and Deathly Hallows (which i had pre-ordered) and a belated gift I got from Shalu di - The Google story - awakened the bookworm in me, which had been starved of good books for the past three months coz of my GMAT preparation... I'll take another week atleast to finish both these books...) - which means, i'm not yet done with my writing break!

Whew!! (pant pant!!) Lot of things i've been involved in lately - except for some creative writing... Realizing that i needed to gear up, and sharpen my worsmithy skills for the upcoming apping times for my dream B-schools, and to finish another story I have promised for the next edition of our magazine, i have made this desperate attempt to offload my heart and mind of a burden...

Aah.. that feels better... guess the next short story is just around the corner somewhere!

Self Evaluation: Are you an entrepreneur?

This may seem self-aggrandizing, prima facie ... but for me, it serves to keep myself focussed on what I want to become, and what I am doing, every moment... to get there...

You Are a Natural Entrepreneur

You're creative, driven, and full of great ideas. You could be the next Richard Branson, Warren Buffet, or Oprah. Keep with your dreams, even if people don't understand or respect them. Someday you'll have too much money to care what they think!

Are You a Natural Entrepreneur?

Amen!!

An ode of an... impending disaster???

An opportunity… (red herring, is it??)

An ambition… A dreamer

Lots of expectations – most of it from the self

A vacuous ground-work, close to naught

Mostly… just Crossed fingers

A frail framework of communication

A mind barricaded from external inputs by obstinance and paranoia

A “decision”…

A talented and extrovertive, but naïve and gullible betrothed,

A shared ambition and dream

A few personal ambitions and dreams

Lack of clarity

A misplaced sense of respect

A conviction… (or is it??)

A graspable, but hazardous immaturity in handling relationships

A best friend

A witness to an edifice being built on a hollow foundation

Lots of good intentions.

Desperate attempts to save the bacon

An out of the way attempt

A punching bag for abuses from a swellhead with an inflated ego

A wounded heart…

An ‘outsider’ ... a 'conspirator'

An abettor to schemes with underlying noble intents

A maverick strategist

The chief architect of a futile attempt

A geographical separation from 'the' loved one

A sinking feeling of helplessness.

An act of benevolence given up...

Lead kindly light...

The essence of life...

I'd received this in a forwarded mail, long time back... Received it again today morning from my friend Revs... One of the best I have seen... something which best describes how i look at my life, and try to achieve...









Thanks Revs...

I say...

"Whatever happens, does not necessarily happen for the good, on its own...
Its upto you, as to how much good you can make out of what happens to you..."

"Behind the confidence, flawlessness and success stories of every perfectionist,
Are countless instances of grit, perseverance, introspection, and an unshakeable belief in oneself"

I say...

"The difference between the could-have-done's and the have-done's
Is the difference between the wishful thinkers, and the go-getters!"
- Subhash

Quotes, by some of the who's who have always inspired me - simply because of their ability to impart profound insight, in just a few words...

This one, i have come up with, from my own experience... Some day, when I become one of the "who's who"... some one will quote me, in his blog, speech or write-up!!

I WILL RULE THE WORLD ONE DAY...

A thought...

"You are not you by yourself...you are just the result of all the people and the environment around you... so if you are special compared to others, its not coz of yourself, but coz God was kind enough to make you so"

- the words i told to one of my close friends, during tea, today evening... She was so impressed by this statement, that i thought it might be worth putting the same up here to get more comments :-)

Afterthought - It is a fact that when i started this statement, i didnt know where it was going at all... just a verbal reflex from my end...Hmmm...Experience in JAMming helps so much in such cases!!! ;->

Children... God's most beautiful creation

A picture is worth a thousand words, i have heard...

But this pic?? ... just two words - INFINITELY CUTE!! (Obviously... only the left half!! :-) )

My niece... Neha

(Unimportant:FYI, for those who don't know me personally... that's me on the right!)

Its Possible!!

There are 'n' books on self help and n^m lines - in them, and in general - which boost (atleast try to!!) your morale...

What do you feel when you read them?? "Aww GaaD..not again!!" ... "Fit for the books... what else sells them??" "hmmphfff!! (and a disdainful frown doused in scorn)"??? Or "Woooow!! Wonderful!!"... "So true... so inspiring!"

Dunno abt you... but atleast I... like many of them!!

I've had read this somewhere a blue moon ago, and thought of trying it out for myself... and now endorse it, when i find it works for me - when you want to achieve something, keep telling yourself that you CAN do it... reiterating you desire, your goal, your vision - to yourself helps your brain believe that you can really do it...

Of course.. it goes without saying, that just dreaming about your goals wont get you there... The difference between the achievers and the dreamers - is that the achievers have got down to their task of reaching their goal and ... just did it!!

Credits: The post i read on my friend Smita's page titled the same - its possible - which inspired me to put up this post

Why all my posts are so long???

All my friends who read this, asked the same thing...

First and foremost, this blog is just an extension of myself - literally - when it comes to expressing my views - talking non - stop about anything and everything. However close a person is to me, i understand that everyone has a threshold for how much they can bear to listen to me. I outmatch everyone's limits so easily, tat unless the person is brain dead, unconscious or plain non-living, his patience is bound to give way at some point!!

Add to this, i can type at 70 words-per-min. So the last barrier - time - which might have been a deterrent for posting often, is conquered.

Thus the dasi speaks... a lot... even on his blog. :-)

An hour with a leader

Learning - something that's perpetual in life - of course, that is only if you wish to. But among all the various sources you learn from, the experience of other people is a tad different. If you are wise, you will be able to absorb from what that person has undergone, and improve your knowledge and awareness profoundly, without needing to undergo it yourself. And this, atleast I strongly feel, is one of the most productive and efficient ways of learning.

Books by great leaders, for me, have always been great sources of inspiration. But, a chance to have a tête-à-tête with one of them??

When Ranga sir, one of the senior-most employees in our company called me for one such meeting, i just jumped at the chance and set out to meet him right away. We met over a cup of tea, and the next one hour with him, were my best 60 minutes for the day.

It started off with the feedback he had to give me on the performance of our music band, on last Saturday, at the family day celebrations of our company - Utsav . Incidentally, his son Rishab had sung with us in our performance. [One line on him - An immensely talented 10 year old, who, i'm sure will be a great singer one day.] I got several insights and pointers from Ranga sir about our performance and the way we conducted it.

From there the discussion just took off to various things. Ranga sir, is one of those people who have been associated with our company since its infant days. For a wannabe leader like me, getting an opportunity to listen to him was like giving a candy to a kid. He was willing to share his experiences with me, a thing that is a mark of a truly great leader and people's man - developing future leaders. From new ideas for technical innovation, to his story of his initial days with our company, in its initial days, to good books, to the team of colleagues who have worked with him, to efficient ways of tapping your own potential - when it ended, the gratification I felt was just like the high you would get on good whisky.

Surely, there cant be better ways of spending one hour of my time. I learnt as much in an hour, which would take me many months or years of my own experience to learn the same. I am looking forward to learning more from him.

Thank you very much,sir...

Need for speed??

Better late than never ...
Speed thrills, but kills ...
Prevention is better than cure ...

Cliches... the above ones are... i agree - but they are very much true, all the same.

Lots of people love to speed on the road. Me too... the high you get while flying on a good car or bike, on a good road is unmatched.

Enjoying thrills is one thing. Being reckless is another. I have ceased being the latter, after a painful experience. The trauma of losing one of my best friends in an accident, and worse, the suffering of his parents, that i have witnessed, has driven home one point straight into my head.

There are many people - parents, siblings, best friends et al... who would miss having you as a part of their life, if you aren't around. They all love you very very much. The pain of losing you is something they would never want to experience.

So, one suggestion you can take from me - whenever you get reckless, just remember... if not for yourself, atleast for those people around you, for whom you mean a lot - be responsible!! They don't need to lose YOU, to learn a lesson!

The pain of being a perfectionist...

"Perfectionist".

What comes to your mind first, when you hear this word?? Diligence? discipline? dedication?? A natural awe for such a person??

Or, are characteristics like haughtiness, conceit or difficult-to-get-along-with some of the things you would associate with a person who you know is / tries to be one such??

Although i confess, that i don't see myself as a perfectionist (even i cut corners a lot of times :-) ), i do set very high standards for myself - be it any kind of task - and strive to achieve them. Some wise man has said "never judge a person by your principles, but judge him by his own" But then, its human nature, that we tend to see the world through the glasses of our own principles. Even a person who is cognizant of this fact, is often, if not always, not an exception to this.

I, from my own experience have had several instances when i've actually felt sad of this attitude of mine to try and achieve high standards. This seldom has anything to with yourself and more, with what you try to "impose" on others. When you begin, to expect similar standards from people around you, forgetting that they might not be as capable of you to do it, and you admonish or chide them for it, it breeds a lot of resentment in the other person, and he may even show it to you. And several times, he does. Not just that, this happens even if you are setting different standards from them, which may actually be lower than those of your own. So who is the culprit here??

Its none other than human ego - a very dominant part of a person's character. It is this ego, which makes it difficult for him accept a mistake or under-performance, even though, deep inside, he knows it himself. And many times, it also makes him so resolute, that he tries to defend himself, convinces himself that he is not at fault, and makes a conscious effort not to improve himself.

The other facet of this, is that when a perfectionist attempts to point out mistakes in a person, it creates even more frustration, because the person listens to several complaints from him, but cannot find enough faults in the perfectionist, to satisfy his ego.

Having faced such situations many times with none other than my most loved ones, i'm slowly learning to avoid pointing as many mistakes, or learning to use grossly euphemistic ways to do the same... and i hope, i will adapt soon. Cause, sincerely, i look to put the point across to that person, than to score a point against him.

(Almost) Perfectly yours,
dasi :-)